Honoring others at the end of life

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you’ll have read a few posts about handling the loss of friends in the Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) community. Some of the posts that come to my mind are: Living with Loss, On Surviving the death of Friends, and To Bear Witness. … Continue reading Honoring others at the end of life

The Stockdale Paradox

Since my diagnosis with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) in 2017, I’ve struggled with those relentlessly positive people in and around cancer. You know the ones, they are always “up,” always talking about how a cure is right around the corner, always proclaiming how cancer made their lives better, always jumping on the bandwagon … Continue reading The Stockdale Paradox

Books and Censorship

According to family lore, I read my first book around the age of three (3). Spoiler alert, it wasn't really reading, I'd just memorized some of the books that my parents read regularly aloud. Since the books were written in iambic pentameter and had colorful pictures to go along with the text, it was easier … Continue reading Books and Censorship


Recently, I was scrolling through Facebook and I came across a post in a closed support group for those us living with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) that really resonated with me. As I read through the post, I realized that it felt really familiar and by the time I got to the end … Continue reading Attribution

Comparative suffering

Recently, during a webinar I was moderating for SurvivingBreastCancer.Org, Jennifer O’Brien said something along the lines of “comparative suffering is a crock of shit.” The webinar was all about the amazing organization Soaring Spirits, which supports people grieving after their person has died and which I encourage all of you to check out and support. … Continue reading Comparative suffering

Results, when do patients want to know?

Recently, a medical oncologist posted on Twitter about how a patient finding out their scan/testing results through their portal was a bad experience for the patient. This doctor, as many do, opined that a patient getting a result outside the doctor’s office created too much anxiety and concern. As I expected, responses to this tweet … Continue reading Results, when do patients want to know?