Recently, as I have done a few times since Stage IV metastatic breast cancer (MBC) entered my life in 2017, I sat down with Janelle Sea of Uplifted Lens to talk about what it means to build a life inside the realities of MBC. These conversations are never simple. They require opening doors that are … Continue reading Building Connections Through Photography and Adversity
There is something about serious illness that seems to transform ordinary people into experts. The moment a diagnosis enters the room, advice follows close behind, bustling and relentless, carrying smoothies and slogans and optimism like talismans against mortality. Everyone suddenly has a philosophy. A cure. A mindset adjustment. A story about someone’s cousin who “beat … Continue reading Well meaning advice
There is a particular darkness that arrives after a dear friend dies. Not the darkness of the death itself. Not the darkness of the phone call, the text message, the hospice update, the social media announcement, or the funeral. These mechanics of the death process come without warning, but you can handle these parts in … Continue reading Dark nights of the Soul when a dear friend has died
There are some people who enter the Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) world quietly and somehow become foundational overnight. Not loud. Not performative. Not interested in applause. Not motivated by likes. Not wanting to be a cancer influencer or perpetuate toxic positivity. Just steady. Just kind. Just generous. Just real. Just magic. That was … Continue reading Remembering Dr. Amy Beumer, 1978-2026
It's been a rough few weeks/months amongst many of my friends living with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) and reflecting on the hardships and the losses has occupied a great deal of my thinking recently. I wanted to share a poem that has been meaningful to me as I process the losses, the trauma, … Continue reading How We’re Loved
I have never known quite what to do with the word brave. It shows up so quickly whenever people witness suffering, ready in their mouths like a ceremonial offering. You’re so brave. They say it softly, reverently, as though bravery is the natural companion to illness, grief, fear, survival. As though courage blooms automatically inside … Continue reading “You’re so Brave”
In grief my love, look for the daffodils. It may not be actual daffodils of course. It might in fact be the sunrise outside your window as you draw back the curtains one morning. It might be the decision to draw back the curtains at all, after weeks of being comforted by the dark. It … Continue reading “In grief, my love, look for the daffodils” a poem by Becky Helmsley
There is a peculiar loneliness in suffering that cannot decide how visible it is allowed to become. A terrible arithmetic that governs and if you step wrong, there are serious consequences. Maybe not in the short run, but absolutely over time. Speak too often of pain, exhaustion, grief, disability, illness, fear—and suddenly your humanity is … Continue reading The Burden of Honesty in Suffering
Recently a fellow member of the Live from Stage 4 podcast team, Dr. Jill Tirabassi, recorded an episode reviewing a study examining the Time Burden in Patients With Metastatic Breast and Ovarian Cancer from Clinic and Home Demands (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12709373/) and since cancer care feels like a full time job to me, especially during times of … Continue reading Shit we deal with — Time Toxicity
If you are interested in hearing more from me and several health care professionals committed to supporting patients through this pesky and difficult adverse event, check out this MASCC (multinational association of supportive care in cancer) webinar on Thursday here. Fatigue is too gentle a word for what cancer (and the necessary treatments) does to … Continue reading Cancer Fatigue, the Elephant in the room
No Half Measures 