On March 8, 2017, I heard those fateful words "You have breast cancer." It has now been two whole years since that day and everything is so very different now. But how to talk about that? Am I a happier person? Nope Am I angry? Yep Am I depressed/anxious? Yep Do I think about death … Continue reading Cancerversary #2
As you probably guessed from my previous post, I have resisted including narcotics and other interventions that would be considered "Western" medicine in favor of including alternative/complimentary remedies. I don't do this lightly and, while I am not a doctor, I have become an expert on my own body and being in tune with what/how … Continue reading Dealing with Pain, Part II
Dealing with pain is constant trial and error. Different pain, different body parts, and different biological mechanisms means that I am always experimenting with various remedies. These are my favorite, in no particular order ... Medical Marijuana. Before I was in pain, I didn't understand the big deal about medical marijuana. I'd never tried anything … Continue reading Dealing with Pain, Part I
This picture is theoretically what my bones look like now--the tumors have been killed off or are dying, but what is left are literally holes in what should be solid. I'm hopeful that the medication I take daily has helped, but breast cancer eats bone. It eats it. Before I found out that I have … Continue reading Pain
Once my neuro-psychological testing revealed a 20 point IQ drop, the next step was to discuss treatment. The areas identified as deficient have to do with recall, processing speed and executive functioning; exactly the areas I'd reported issues with. I was referred to a speech therapist. A speech therapist? I was surprised since my perception … Continue reading Treating Cognitive Issues
2017 is a bit of a blur for me. There are some moments that stick out; however, not many. It was the most eventful year, medically, for me and the addition of chemo to all the surgeries and hospital stays and procedures, its no wonder that it feels hazy and not quite real. Since there … Continue reading Neuro-Psychological Testing
This is a real thing. I've read several times that doctors are not convinced that it exists and that it is hard to test. Nearly everyone I've talked to who has undergone chemo experiences various cognitive affects. It is hard to quantify at times, but it is a real thing. A rather humorous example that … Continue reading Chemo Brain
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2017, the "fight" language/metaphor appealed to me. As a recovering lawyer and high "type A" person, the illusion of control is really hard to relinquish. Thinking in terms of fighting to win, of beating cancer, of taking control, of having a say in the … Continue reading Fight or Flight
February 2, 2019. Last summer, I met Lindsey Scholl at a conference in Tampa and she was the first to tell me that the wildly successful model of holding METSquerades to raise funds for Metavivor that started in Arkansas was coming to Orlando. I immediately knew that I wanted to be involved. I live in … Continue reading Inaugural Orlando METSquerade
I posted last week about why I don't want to be called a survivor. That begs the question, what do I want to be called, what label do I embrace now that I've had nearly two years of living with stage IV metastatic breast cancer under my belt? I've had a lot of labels in … Continue reading What do I want to be called?
No Half Measures 