I wrote a blog post recently that really resonated with a lot of people about how I feel about dear friends dying and how hard it really is to live with a terminal disease. Yes, despite some efforts to recast Stage IV metastatic breast Cancer as “chronic,” the rate of 116 men and women dying … Continue reading How can I help?
How do you answer the question: “How are You?
What is in the middle of "fine" and the whole sordid story? I confess that sometimes I verbally vomit the entire story on unsuspecting people who have innocently asked a socially acceptable question. At some point along the way, I've lost the social acceptable response ... or have I? Why do people ask how you … Continue reading How do you answer the question: “How are You?
Dehumanization
First of all, let's look at the definition: dehumanize: de·hu·man·ize | \ (ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü- \ : to deprive (someone or something) of human qualities, personality, or dignity: such as a: to subject (someone, such as a prisoner) to conditions or treatment that are inhuman or degrading"… you treat people with respect, you get respect back. You treat them like animals, you strip search them, you dehumanize them, … Continue reading Dehumanization
When a friend is dying
Before my diagnosis of Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) in 2017, death wasn’t a concept that had been a significant part of my life experiences. I lost a few grandparents and other extended family as I aged but they were elderly and ill and they were, arguably, ready to be done with living with … Continue reading When a friend is dying
Ring Theory
I ran across this theory early on in my experience with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer and it really resonated with me. The longer I've lived with the disease, the more it resonates with me. While I'm horrible at asking for help and often overestimate what I can handle, the kindness of some family and … Continue reading Ring Theory
Pity versus Empathy
Pity is feeling bad for someone. Empathy is feeling bad with someone. This is a picture of the feeling buddies that I've used for years with my boys to name their feelings. There are songs and worksheets through Conscious Discipline that we use as well. It is sometimes astonishing to me how much I learn … Continue reading Pity versus Empathy
Swedish Death Cleaning
This concept is fascinating to me and I've been trying to apply it in my own life as I live while dying. This Article explains it in more detail. Even though the idea is applied in the context of death, I think each of the tasks listed in the meme above are nearly universal. How … Continue reading Swedish Death Cleaning
Perspective
I flew to Philadelphia in April of this year (2019) for the Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) Conference. This means I flew from Miami to Philadelphia and then returned. I noticed from the air that the coast looks so very similar no matter where you are. The buildings and trees, the ocean, etc. From thirty … Continue reading Perspective
Introversion and Conferences
I am an introvert, in fact I'm just about as introverted as the tests can test. I hate small talk, I really don't enjoy meeting new people, and when I'm out of my element, I'm painfully shy. I am the most comfortable when I have responsibilities where I have something to do at a gathering … Continue reading Introversion and Conferences
It’s Not About You
What a great title!! The author, Tom Rath, has also been involved with writing about Strength Finders, which was a great asset to me and my law firm when I was practicing. Beyond personality, Strength Finders focuses on those traits that serve you personally well in the workplace. Super helpful, especially in a work place … Continue reading It’s Not About You
No Half Measures 