While we don’t see the fall seasons so much here in Florida from the trees, the rising incidences of pink smothered whatever always reminds me that October has arrived. Similar to other holidays, retailers get a start earlier and earlier in the year to capitalize on a larger timeline for sales. And while some of the most egregious perpetrators of Pinkwashing have been confronted and some have adjusted their behaviors, it’s still something that is pretty clearly happening more than it should.

What is Pinkwashing you ask? Here are some handy tiles that might help.

This is the ninth (9th) Pinktober since my de novo Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) diagnosis in 2017 and I’m really really really tired. I’m so tired of seeing so many organizations and companies conduct themselves in a way that doesn’t help actual patients. I’m so tired of talking to employees over and over when asked to donate funds where they have no idea what the funds will be used for. I’m so tired of the lack of compassion from so many as to how the MBC experience is so very different from an early stage diagnosis. I’m just so very tired of the triggering aspects of this month.

A dear friend, Stacey Tinianov, the founder of the Advocates for Collaborative Education, said it this way in a post on LinkedIn last year and her urging is just so good that I want to share it again …

As the first moon of Breast Cancer Awareness Month rises, I want to take the time to pre-emptively THANK all of you who will turn your attention to a disease that irrevocably changes the physical, mental, social, and emotional reality for the nearly 300,000 who are diagnosed each year in the US alone.

Thank you for your solidarity.

Thank you for contributing time and money to research and support programs.
But, most of all, thank you for not looking away. Cancer isn’t pretty and cancer is a thief.

Beyond stealing a sense of wholeness, a sense of healthiness, a sense of time, and a sense of blissful ignorance to the indignities of a cancer diagnosis, breast cancer steals over 43,000 people every year in the US alone.

Please don’t look away from those facts and please don’t look away from those who are living that reality.

If you feel compelled to show your support in this breast cancer awareness month, please consider the following:

·      Verify your financial donations are actually going to support a 501c3, and not simply lining the pockets of a company who decided to turn their products pink for a month. (See some good 501c3 options below)
·      Respectfully celebrate everyone’s victories, but also be mindful that many individuals will never “beat” their disease (despite all the positive thinking, an excess of blueberries, and/or coffee enemas that you’ve read about in social media). In fact, for our friends with metastatic disease, breast cancer will kill them – in most cases, very prematurely and after significant suffering.
·      Refrain from engaging in campaigns that sexualize breast cancer. The disease that forced the amputation of my breasts does not deserve pink pom poms and “Save the Ta Tas” as a slogan. It has not been a party.
·      Remember (or learn) that breast cancer is not simply a “woman’s disease.” While not as frequently, men get breast cancer too.

And, most importantly, please know that, while October is dominated by breast cancer awareness, all cancers, and individuals with a diagnosis or history of cancer, need ACTION not simply awareness. 

breastcancerawareness #BreastCancerAction

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7114447783675269120/

As with any experience, there is a significant variation in what specific individuals face. Most of what is discussed or presented during Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM) lumps so many disparate issues and concepts together into one bucket. What so many don’t understand is that this is an over-simplification and leaves so many of us out in the cold when our experiences don’t “match.”

I would echo what Stacey shared in this way: take two steps back in whatever you are doing this October and ask yourself a lot of questions before you participate in order to maximize your impact and truly understand what is helpful to patients NOW, especially those of us who were given a death sentence.

MBC is terminal. It will end my life and the lives of so many of my friends. More than 117 of us die every day in the US and the needle hasn’t moved enough — remember that those of us diagnosed under 40 represent the subset of people where cancer diagnoses are increasing, not decreasing. Please don’t look away and be sure you are donating where you want to make the most impact.