Pet Peeve time: Handicapped parking spaces

A few months after my Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) diagnosis in 2017, I saw my palliative doctor and explained how hard it was for me to move quickly when out in public with my kiddos. I was still recovering from having titanium rods inserted into both femurs in June of 2017, a mere week after I’d found out I was actually Stage IV and not Stage II, and my boys were two (2) and four (4). It was a safety issue to me that if they got away from me in a busy parking lot I literally couldn’t move fast enough to keep them safe. My boys have always been really active and get excited.

The remedy?

My doctor suggested that she assist me with applying for a handicapped placard, enabling me to park close to the entrance to stores or wherever I was going with my kiddos. Yes, a terminal cancer diagnosis is a qualification for preferred parking and has been such a help as I live in pain and often struggle to move. I don’t use the ability to park closely when I don’t need it and often battle with my own urge not to take advantage of this opportunity because my mobility is different each day.

Since I got that handicapped placard, I’ve …

• had people leave notes on my car that “I don’t look sick” and “did I steal the placard”
• had people shout out things like “did you steal/borrow that placard”
• had people look at me quite oddly, including the people at the government office processing the application (yes, I gave them an earful)
• had people edge out my car to take the handicapped space
• had people block my car so that I can’t pull out

I haven’t always responded well to these types of communication, usually yelling back something along the lines of “I’m dying of terminal cancer.” That usually gets people to shut up and sometimes even apologize for their assumptions. I’ve done a few things to help mitigate some of this behavior/assumptions — I have a bumper sticker on the back of my car that says “If you want my parking space, you have to take my disability” and several other stickers that clearly say metastatic breast cancer with the MBC ribbon as well.

But I shouldn’t have to do that.

Outside of the things that people say out of ignorance, I’ve also noticed over and over how people who don’t have a handicapped placard often park in the only available handicapped spaces. From what I’ve seen, the people who park in these spaces without a permit are often people who are working nearby. I get that it’s not easy to find parking for a trailer or work vehicles but those people working near a handicapped space are nearly always able-bodied and are taking up the closest spaces that are reserved for those of us who aren’t.

I’ve also noticed that many places don’t comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) that requires a certain percentage of spaces to be handicapped marked. This is often older buildings and often government buildings. I understand that religious organizations have an exemption too. My boys are in elementary school and the handicapped parking is often only in the staff parking lots and inaccessible to parents (to be fair, not their current school here in Orlando, this was mainly in Miami where we lived previously).

As I’m sure none of you are surprised if you have read this blog for any length of time, I nearly always say something to the people who violate the requirement to have a placard and now my kids also check for a placard when someone is parked in a handicapped spot. If it’s a worker, I will track them down or call the numbers on their bumpers. I often take pictures of the vehicles that aren’t displaying a tag and forward that information to the police so that the fine can be imposed, especially if they don’t move after I’ve brought to their attention that they are violating the law and taking up a space that others need more.

If you are so inclined, there’s an application for your phone that allows you to take a picture with a geo-tag and forward that information to the police. You can access the information for the application here: https://www.parkingmobility.com. Advantage of using the application is that you don’t have to have any interaction with the person violating the law and taking up a space reserved for people who need it.

Here’s the thing I hope you will take away from my ranting: It’s HARD to have limited mobility and it’s not easy to get the ability to park close. Those of us who need help are often just doing our best to have as normal a life as possible. I’d gladly give up my parking space if that meant I didn’t have terminal cancer. In my opinion, those people who take away the small things that make our lives easier are likely oblivious or selfish or both.

Don’t be that person. Honor the signs and speak up when others don’t.