Before I had children, I didn’t understand the phrase: “It takes a village.” Yes, I’m a weird introvert who loves to spend time on my own, so it just didn’t make sense to me. Anyway, then I had kids and WOW, it made a lot more sense. I’m forever grateful for the village that we gathered around ourselves when the kiddos were younger and the village we have now (you all know who you are! :)).
Adiba talks about the village in this way …
Once I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC), I discovered a new kind of village. The healthy people who showed up and kept showing up were and are priceless. While that group has changed over time and since we moved, the village that has become even more important are those within the MBC Community.
The ones who take my calls and texts in the middle of the night or early in the morning or during treatment.
The ones who become family within moments of meeting.
The ones who become an integral part of my life.
The ones who live the ups and downs of my treatment with me, and I with theirs.
While I still do enjoy my time alone and I need that time to recharge after engaging with others, I’ve learned that I need my village of people inside and outside of the MBC community in order to do this living while dying thing productively and well. My mental health is so much better when I’ve connected with others and I get energy from listening to the ideas and projects of others for my own. Thank you to everyone who is part of my village!!
And now you know more about how we all need each other.
No Half Measures 
I’m an extravert. I need people and I tend to meet someone and think of them as a friend. I’ve learned the hard way that this isn’t true. And I’ve also learned that with an MBC diagnosis, some people puke away because they are afraid of watching me die.
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I hear you. It’s hard on every level, with every personality, when our expectations aren’t met. I tend to be more suspicious of people at the outset; we can all learn from each other!
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We really do need each other. I came to appreciate that when I became a mother too …. and then in the difficult times of life. I’m so glad your village has been there for you, and will continue to be there for your family. Thank you for all you share here ….
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It is my pleasure! I’m so glad my posts resonate with you. 🙂
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Great blog post, we really are interdependent x
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Thank you! so very true..
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Children (and grandchildren) are so enabling, it’s staggering the impact ours have had on me. I thought, being the oldest of 6, and generally running the routines for them as we grew up, that’d be the most I could realized from little ones (including myself, lol!) – but new little ones, what an opportunity to really learn to love and share, even if with more than a few bumps 😊
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I hear you! I’m also the eldest of 6, so I understand where you are coming from a little. I was always the “third parent,” growing up. 🙂
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Oh, yes, the 3rd parent, hadn’t thought of it like that, lol! 😊
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That was the label my siblings gave me. Wasn’t always comfortable. 🙂
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Yea, being a parent and really just being the 1st kid with all “those” issues being enough on their own, lol! And now we’re on to more serious life issues, without that as much sight & wisdom as we thought we’d have – but who could stand growing up thinking otherwise 😊☺️
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So true!!
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Our villages are important and powerful tools for support and change.
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Yes, so true! I didn’t really understand that until I needed village. 🙂
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Speaking of needing each other, I’m putting together a few othings I’ve learned from your October posts as my own recognition of this month—and you.
Can you help me with a few places you’d like to see receive donations? I’m assuming METAvivor is one. Does your nonprofit seek funding—or just volunteers? I think I saw a list on your blog at some point, but I couldn’t find it.
I’d like to post Wed if possible.
Many thx.
💕
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You are awesome! Yes, Metavivor would be a good place. 305PinkPack is another. My non profit, Connect IV Legal services also takes donations, yes. Thank you!! ❤️
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