This is one of the things that causes me, as a daughter, wife and mom some sleepless nights. My diagnosis is happening to me, but it is also happening to everyone around me. I’m sure no parent will misunderstand when I say that I would rather take all the pain on myself rather than see my children carry any of it.
Read below for what Adiba says ….
As much as those of us with metastatic disease need support, so does our support system and there are so few options. One of my favorite is the biweekly caregiver support group zoom call that my friend Rosemary has established at the 305PinkPack. Even if it is hard to talk about, connecting with other human beings who are experiencing the same or similar challenges is both life affirming and necessary.
The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: A Journal is a book recently published and puts so much of the experience of the caregiver into words. Both the patient and the caregiver in this amazingly well written and illustrated journal have unique views from both a medical and a personal perspective. I would strongly recommend it for anyone who wants to understand more about what the patients and caregivers experience.
The bottom line? Any of you reading this post should immediately reach out to a caregiver of a terminal patient. They are lonely. They are hurting. They need a hug, virtual or otherwise. They need to know that there are people and life outside of the cancer experience. Remind them and care for them. They need it.
And now you know more about the toll that a terminal diagnosis takes on a whole family and how to mitigate it.
No Half Measures 
I love your idea for providing a brief, thoughtful post each day during BCAM. This one about family and caregivers is so important. My husband still talks about how very few people asked him how he was doing during the months when he unflaggingly stood by and with me, making sure I ate, exercised and rested and dealing with me on those dark days when I was really low. You’re so right that simply asking a caregiver or family member, “So how are you doing?” is so important.
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I’m so glad you are enjoying my posts! Yes, caregivers are often forgotten and yet they need so much. ❤️
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Very insightful. My husband brushed off my concern for him. He’s also eternally optimistic while I’m trying to be realistic. It’s hard for us both.
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Everyone handles this awful experience in different ways. I’m so sorry that you and your husband aren’t handling things similarly. That can only make it harder. 😥❤️
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I so know what this is like! And we who caregive for any seriously ill patient always have a great fear they will pass away. Death can be like a shadow lingering.
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Holding space for you. To be a caregiver is an amazing burden and such a great responsibility. Love and hugs to you. ❤️
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Thank you so much! I needed this encouragement today. Peace and blessings and have a wonderful week.
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❤️
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I cannot comprehend what you girls are going through. We men have an unfounded arrogance about our attitude to women’s health.
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Men do get breast cancer too. Also, I’m not sure many women want to be referred to as “girls,” just a thought.
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Sorry, In Australia it’s a positive. I will try to be more careful.
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Ah, I see. I learn something new all the time! Thank you for sharing that with me. ❤️
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