It hasn’t happened to me personally yet, however, I’ve observed several people I know being accused of being negative as they shared their actual, real life experiences with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I’ve read their accounts carefully and realized that I’ve said the same or similar things in this blog and on other social media platforms. I’ve talked about the life altering and crushing depression and anxiety and how everything is different. Yet, no one has commented that I’m negative.

Let me be clear, I don’t think cancer is a gift, I don’t consider my life to be better, and I don’t think cancer made me a better person. I know the constant, debilitating pain that I experience, the lovely side effects from all the medication and the mental and emotional toll a terminal illness takes. I live with all of this.

So why am I not attacked on social media for being negative?

I’m certainly not asking to be attacked, I just want to express solidarity with my metsters. Cancer is an awful disease that I wouldn’t wish on an enemy and it’s truly not possible to be positive and “up” all the time. Anyone feeling that pressure is one too many.

It’s entirely ok to express your truth, what you are feeling.

19 thoughts on “Negativity

  1. First, I really want to say I’m sorry that’s happened to you.

    I’m a medical student soon to become a doctor.
    I really can relate with you right now, almost with tears.

    I feel anyone with life threatening metastatic cancer is free to express their feeling without being judged.

    The pain alone and the adverse effects of chemotherapy, aside the emotional disturbances that comes with it, is not what one can wish for his enemy.

    Much love from here, ma’am.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Thank you for weighing in. We patients often struggle with whether our medical providers care about us as whole people. Good to know you are starting off with the right perspective. Thank you for reading and commenting!


  2. Well put as always. I don’t understand the perspective, to put it politely, of those who tell others how they have to think or feel or the like. I appreciate that one can quickly become overwhelmed and that can lead to a spiral of negativity that becomes increasingly difficult to break, but I don’t believe that somehow equates with telling people to not acknowledge how they feel and their very real sorrows and concerns. I often believe that it serves to minimize people’s very real concerns.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amen. I am a bit different in believing that my Cancer is a gift. I believe I was able to gain relationship with some family that would never have happened without it, but I am with you about the grittiness of the disease. You can’t be positive all the time. Sometimes it is the tears that help with the healing. I live day by day. However, I really appreciate the moments of peace,joy and pain free a lot more now. I think trolls come in all forums. They are not worth your time or energy. I listen to helpful suggestions sometimes but mostly I give it to the Universe. There is way too much to this disease to have an opinion unless you are going through it. I wish you and any of your scorned readers wellness, peace and love. I know lately for me I have tried and failed to get off of the dexamethasone for the second time. I am frustrated that my body won’t produce the hpaa necessary. I believe it will eventually, but I am not crazy about being physically addicted to a drug. It is just one more thing I don’t need,
    but tomorrow is another day. I try not to dwell on it and believe in my healing. I wish you all healing. Nobody should have to go through this. But if you do I wish you love.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I totally agree with you, Abigail. Metsters – or anyone who is going through a tough time – has a right to say what they want about what they’re going through, and publish it on their own blog. If people don’t want to know about the lows as well as the highs, then they have the option to not read that particular blog – but some people will find the negative stuff useful too, so it definitely needs to be out there. There is no justification for anyone attacking others for being either negative or positive. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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