Identity. It is made up of many different components and is often different for different people. For those of us who went to school for years and years to attain a certain degree or status or position, that effort and attaining that goal becomes a part of our identity.
Here’s how Adiba view her loss of career to Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) …
Again, it isn’t an issue for everyone, but it certainly was for me as well. Going from working a lot of hours every week and my focus being divided between work and home …. to …. being at loose ends a lot. I’d had a job, usually more than full time, since I was in high school, so it was a really weird adjustment. I felt useless and unproductive and lost, like I lost a piece of myself. Plus, I was already struggling with depression since I’d been diagnosed and I spent way too much time staring at the wall.
Losing a sense of self is a big deal. It’s demoralizing and it can cause depression, anxiety and whole host of other mental health difficulties. And yet, there is very little focus on this part of the cancer experience.
What’s the solution?
All aspects of a person’s life is affected by cancer and no one part is more or less important objectively. It all depends on the person and there are no right or wrong answers. I think every patient needs a team who is constantly assessing the patient’s whole life, checking in and providing space for patients to talk about what they are struggling with. Struggles at the beginning of the MBC experience may be very different from struggles at the 2 or 3 or 5 year marks.
For those of us living with MBC, treatment never ends and the losses never end.
And now you know more about the losses those of us who have MBC face.
No Half Measures 
Having a meaningful career is a huge part of many people’s identity. I can really see how having that stolen from you could feel like you’ve had part of yourself ripped away, and without your permission. And the harder you’ve worked to get to that place, the more painful that experience must be. So many losses ….
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Yes, loss after loss after loss. It’s hard to know who is staring back at me in the mirror at times. ❤️
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Your honesty helps so many people, Abigail. Thank you for your blog.
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Thank you for engaging!!
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After my initial diagnosis I continued working. I loved my job and my plan was to retire after 7 more years. Seven years later the cancer returned and a new boss understood nothing and was insensitive. I got Disability and retired ahead of my goal. I was disappointed, but realized that work was toxic. I’m healthier being home and I’m pursuing other things that I’d put aside. You never quit growing.
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Good for you!! Yes, growing is key to staying functional! ❤️
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford.
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Thank you!!
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UR WELCOME!
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I can’t imagine what life with MBC is like. I can empathize with you as someone living with chronic life threatening rare diseases about feeling a loss of self and demoralized. I felt lost when I could no longer work. But I am grateful for the support community I have found since then 😊 My heart goes out to you and the rest of the MBC community 💕
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I’m so glad you have found a support community. The MBC community is a lot like that, very supportive and we definitely “get” each other. 🙂
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