From August 31, 2017

I went to my preop appointment today with the gyn oncology surgeon and plans have changed yet again!! I respect his process but he keeps changing his mind … as far as I understand it, since I did test positive for the ATM genetic mutation, he now definitely wants to do a full hysterectomy. Means longer recovery time but ironically less invasive. Weird. I’m all for removing body parts that are more likely to develop cancer and told him so in the first appointment. Those parts did their job and housed and fed my two boys for the appropriate gestational period and setting them loose is fine by me. There was a bit of a kerfuffel about the medication I’m currently on because it reduces white blood cells. The doctors conferred and I’ll be temporarily stopping the Ibrance for the week before surgery. Then they sent me to the outpatient lab to do a chest X-ray and ekg. The hour or so I planned for the appointment turned into around 4 because of all the waiting in various places. Everything looks good so far for the surgery to happen on 9/11. It is currently set for 7:05 am.

In other news, today was the last day of the lease for the firm and we’re officially done with that space. I spent some time grieving that ending today in the midst of all the medical stuff. That office has seen so much … there are still marks on the back of my office door where Liam forgot that markers are only for paper. There’s a spot on the floor where a drink the boys brought in spilled all over my desk and floor — pretty sure they were fighting over it when it exploded. There are marks on the wall where family pictures and diplomas and certificates hung in my office and others. So many memories. So many clients and employees. So many colleagues and friends. Some bad memories. Betrayal and hurt. It’s such a mixed bag and I know I’ll be processing for a while. But, for now, the mess that’s in my house of the things we could not give or throw away will occupy my attention for a while. I’m still amazed at the amount of stuff we collected over the last 5 years and that doesn’t take into account the many bags of shredding I filled over the last few weeks.

Lots of prep for the surgery next week. Bloodwork and the PET scan and some downtime. I’ve been cleared for massages and will start some acupuncture. Doing whatever I can to keep my body working. Holding onto the good news from the orthopedic doctor this week that the medicine is working and my bones are filling in the holes left by the dead cancer cells.