14 Years and Counting …

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It’s been 14 years today since Elliot and I said “I do.” I’d written last year a little about our wedding and you can see that post here. I think back to that day at least annually; what we were thinking, what we were hoping for, what we thought would be our future. While we weren’t all that young then (or so we thought), there was so much we didn’t know and didn’t anticipate on that day we celebrated our vows.

But that’s life, right? We do what we can to prepare, but sometimes we get knocked on our butts.

Like not being able to get pregnant naturally and suffering through a lot of tests and angst and shots and more tests to have our two (2) boys.

Like recessions and job losses and changes and starting our own business.

Like a terminal cancer diagnosis at 38.

Like facing a truncated life expectancy and having to make huge adjustments and moving away and then moving back.

Like having expectations of family and others and having those expectations dashed in unexpected and painful ways.

Like meeting and losing amazing friends in the MBC Community.

Like having to let go of dreams and aspirations and visions of how our life would be.

The one thing I’ve learned over and over in the past fourteen (14) years is that whatever life throws at you, holding tight to that one person who will stick by you no matter what is key. We don’t have a perfect relationship, but the one thing we do hold to is those vows that we made before God and our family and friends fourteen (14) years ago. No matter what, we stick together; no matter what, we face whatever comes together; no matter what, we are a team.

Love you, forever, Elliot.

Published by Abigail Johnston

I'm a daughter, a wife, a mother, and I've been living with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer since March, 2017. All of the words I publish are my own.

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36 thoughts on “14 Years and Counting …”

  1. My daughter was diagnosed with TNBC stage IIIc in December 2020 and although she had chemo, mastectomy, radiation, the cancer became inflammatory breast cancer and spread to her spine then her organs. She died October 2021. I am forever devastated.

    You, continue to push forward with your self treatment (medical, personal, family). I don’t know you, but I want you to live to see 60 minimally.

    There is a neighbor of my son, living with terminal can for twenty years. Raising her son. She is in her 50s.

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      3. Yes!

        It’s sadly not being spread in the news. I did T-shirts, coffee mugs, pins, that I wear now and my family wears. Speaking of triple negative breast cancer, inflammatory breast cancer, HER2, estrogen, progesterone breast cancer.

        I am still shocked, how this message is not told to our under 40 women population, it really needs to be with PSAs. Men get breast cancer too.

        Gene testing was negative for my daughter. Hence a false sense of comfort.

        I wrote my state and federal representatives. I only heard from my female representatives. This is appalling.

        I also think some of these medical providers give up too soon. When the patient wants to continue fighting.

        So please, continue fighting, keep writing, whenever you are able.

        ❤️

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      4. Advocacy in this space can be really hard. I do find that people with someone they know with breast cancer are much more likely to listen, but its not an easy thing. I’ve had to take a step back from legislative advocacy, a particular interest of mine, because it was just so disheartening.

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      1. You’re welcome.
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  7. That’s so sweet. You’re fortunate to have that one person. I see now after my 2 divorces how important having that spouse is. It’s a lonely world going thru this HER2+ cancer with just a few by your side ( my sister, my daughter, my good friend). Days and nights living by myself get pretty lonely. We must keep fighting tho and alone it’s very hard.

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    1. I hear you. Elliot is my second husband and those years alone after having a partner were particularly difficult. I have learned that family can be those you select, not just the people related to you legally or by blood and I’m glad you have those people by your side. Sending you love and hugs.

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      1. Thank you. A lot of people don’t understand the loneliness I feel. My God ixx so good tho. Without Him I’m nothing
        Hugs back to you!

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  12. Love this post! Marriage is never perfect; it is taking the best of each other and making it work. My wife and I just celebrated our anniversary a week ago. We balance each other out nicely.

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  13. Happy Anniversary Abigail and Elliot (I gotta love his name). May you have many more years together and bring out the best in each other always!

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