To my Eldest son on the 9th anniversary of his birth

Liam–

Every year, on the anniversary of your birth, I think about those days leading up to you joining us earthside and how much anticipation there was. Your Dad and I thought we knew some of what might change, but we had no idea how much our lives would be entirely different after you arrived. Completely entirely changed, for the better.

This year, as you enter the last year of single digits, I can see so much more maturity and gravitas in you. You view the world through the eyes of a scientist, an analyst, and you feel each feeling with the soul of a poet. I often forget that you are only turning nine (9) and relish those times that you really let go of your inhibitions. It is the highlight of my week each week to take you out for a date to eat ice cream and just talk about whatever comes to mind. Even though I can barely understand the complicated explanations of the video games you love, I see the excitement in your eyes and that’s enough.

From one eldest to another, I see how much you tolerate your brother’s enthusiasm and desire to be with you. It can be wearing, as an introvert, to have his exuberant energy always near you. And yet, he’s good for you, he shows you how to let go and just have fun. As I often remind you, you only have one brother and it’s so important to remember that. It’s also important to remember that it isn’t your job to take care of him. Experiment with letting go of that self-imposed responsibility and just be you.

Every day and every experience we get to have together as a family is such an amazing gift — we have learned to celebrate every day since tomorrow isn’t guaranteed; at the same time, it is my fondest wish to celebrate many more anniversaries of your birth in the future. Whether we are together or not, remember that you are deeply loved, that your very existence completes mine, and I will always be with you.

Love always,

Mom