Thirteen years ago today, on August 9, 2008, my dear husband, Elliot, and I exchanged our wedding vows in Orlando, Florida at the First United Methodist Church of downtown Orlando. Looking back at our wedding video and the pictures from that day takes me back to a completely different time with such different thoughts on our minds. We also look so amazingly young!
I think everyone approaches marriage differently, along with having different expectations, and Elliot and I are no different in that. We are all molded and changed by how we are raised, the cultural norms around us, and our life experiences. Since Elliot and I got married after having lived a few years after school and establishing our careers, we were settled in many of our ways before we hitched our lives together.
Our adjustments over the years from combining our lives together (e.g., we each owned a house and only needed to live in one!), understanding the demands of the other’s careers and unique schedules, starting a law firm (we met on the day that I’d quit one job and was about to start another), and then all the decisions/changes we made together. Yes, it’s pretty obvious that I totally disrupted Elliot’s carefully structured and calm life. The ups and downs of a litigation practice, especially after we decided that I’d start my own firm and the variability of the different projects I’ve taken on over the years — he’s ridden that roller coaster with me and provided a much needed stability during all the changes.
Four years ago, we faced another challenge together, my diagnosis of MBC. We haven’t gotten everything right and we don’t always agree, but we’ve demonstrated over and over (particularly Elliot) that we’re on the same team and we tackle big and small things together. Over the years, I’ve come to realize and understand that marriage and relationships aren’t always about the mountaintop moments (although we’ve had those too!); relationships and marriage are about choosing each other, each and every day, over and over.
And we do.
I’m thankful to be doing life for the past fifteen years (13 married) with my husband and to be able to choose each other. Love you forever, Elliot.