Death, is a really hard subject to talk about. Our culture does not give us a language and we, as a culture, tidy death away from from sight. Because of that, we’ve lost the ability as a culture to really support one another when we have to face it.
Here’s what Adiba has to say …
I’ve often likened living with death (a terminal diagnosis) like the sword of Damocles hanging over our heads all day, every day. The effect on our lives of living with death so much closer to us than we ever thought before cannot be calculated or identified clearly. It is difficult for us to measure or explain how much harder it is to focus or engage even in rituals or holidays we look forward to. It’s just that the thought of, this could be the last of whatever is going on, is always there below the surface.
It’s extremely important to remember that no one should tell anyone else how to feel or how to think or how to handle a trauma/crisis. No two people are the same. No two of us in the MBC community are the same. For those of us in the MBC community, as well as outside, it is extremely important to ask questions. Don’t assume, ask. Don’t tell, ask.
Additionally, telling anyone “don’t think like that” or “don’t say that” when that person is attempting to work through their feelings about a particular subject is dismissive. Those of us who stare death in the face each day, who hear about our friends dying every day, who learn more about the inevitable march of the cancer in our bodies and other’s bodies every day, we think differently. Listen to us when we talk about what reminds us of our impending death. Sit with us when we are in the valley. Walk with us through this experience.
You’ll be glad you did.
And now you know more about living with a terminal diagnosis and how to support those of us in the MBC community.